第28章 罗生门〔3〕
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hehaircameout,fearfadedfromhisheart,andhishatredtowardtheoldwomanmounted.Itgrewbeyondhatred,becomingaconsumingantiathyagainstallevil.Atthisinstantifanyonehadbroughtuthethequestionofwhetherhewouldstarvetodeathorbecomeathief—thequestionwhichhadoccurredtohimalittlewhileago—hewouldnothavehesitatedtochoosedeath.Hishatredtowardevilflareduliketheieceofinewoodwhichtheoldwomanhadstuckinthefloor.
Hedidnotknowwhysheulledoutthehairofthedead.Accordingly,hedidnotknowwhetherhercasewastobeutdownasgoodorbad.Butinhiseyes,ullingoutthehairofthedeadintheRashomononthisstormynightwasanunardonablecrime.Ofcourseitneverenteredhismindthatalittlewhileagohehadthoughtofbecomingathief.
Then,summoningstrengthintohislegs,herosefromthestairsandstrode,handonsword,rightinfrontoftheoldcreature.Thehagturned,terrorinhereyes,andsrangufromthefloor,trembling.Forasmallmomentsheaused,oisedthere,thenlungedforthestairswithashriek.
"Wretch!Whereareyougoing?
"heshouted,barringthewayofthetremblinghagwhotriedtoscurryasthim.Stillsheattemtedtoclawherwayby.Heushedherbacktoreventher…theystruggled,fellamongthecorses,andgraledthere.Theissuewasneverindoubt.Inamomenthehadherbythearm,twistedit,andforcedherdowntothefloor.Herarmswereallskinandbones,andtherewasnomorefleshonthemthanontheshanksofachicken.Nosoonerwassheonthefloorthanhedrewhisswordandthrustthesilver-whitebladebeforeherverynose.Shewassilent.Shetrembledasifinafit,andhereyeswereoensowidethattheywerealmostoutoftheirsockets,andherbreathcomeinhoarsegass.Thelifeofthiswretchwashisnow.Thisthoughtcooledhisboilingangerandbroughtacalmrideandsatisfaction.Helookeddownather,andsaidinasomewhatcalmervoice:
"Lookhere,I'mnotanofficeroftheHighPoliceCommissioner.I'mastrangerwhohaenedtoassbythisgate.Iwon'tbindyouordoanythingagainstyou,butyoumusttellmewhatyou'redoinguhere.
"
Thentheoldwomanoenedhereyesstillwider,andgazedathisfaceintentlywiththesharredeyesofabirdofrey.Shemovedherlis,whichwerewrinkledintohernose,asthoughshewerechewingsomething.Thenaantingsoundlikethecawingofacrowcamefromherthroat:
"Iullthehair…Iulloutthehair…tomakeawig.
"
Heranswerbanishedallunknownfromtheirencounterandbroughtdisaointment.Suddenlyshewasonlyatremblingoldwomanthereathisfeet.Aghoulnolonger:onlyahagwhomakeswigsfromthehairofthedead—tosell,forscrasoffood.Acoldcontemtseizedhim.Fearlefthisheart,andhisformerhatredentered.Thesefeelingsmusthavebeensensedbytheother.Theoldcreature,stillclutchingthehairshehadulledoffthecorse,mumbledoutthesewordsinherharshbrokenvoice:
"Indeed,makingwigsoutofthehairofthedeadmayseemagreateviltoyou,butthesethatareheredeservenobetter.Thiswoman,whosebeautifulblackhairIwasulling,usedtosellcutanddriedsnakefleshattheguardbarracks,sayingthatitwasdriedfish.Ifshehadn'tdiedofthelague,she'dbesellingitnow.Theguardslikedtobuyfromher,andusedtosayherfishwastasty.Whatshedidcouldn'tbewrong,becauseifshehadn't,shewouldhavestarvedtodeath.Therewasnootherchoice.IfsheknewIhadtodothisinordertolive,sherobablywouldn'tcare.
"
Hesheathedhissword,and,withhislefthandonitshilt,helistenedtohermeditatively.Hisrighthandtouchedthebigimleonhischeek.Ashelistened,acertaincouragewasborninhisheart—thecouragewhichhehadnotwhenhesatunderthegatealittlewhileago.Astrangeowerwasdrivinghimintheoositedirectionofthecouragewhichhehadhadwhenheseizedtheoldwoman.Nolongerdidhewonderwhetherheshouldstarvetodeathorbecomeathief.Starvationwassofarfromhismindthatitwasthelastthingthatwouldhaveenteredit.
"Areyousure?
"heaskedinamockingtone,whenshefinishedtalking.Hetookhisrighthandfromhisimle,and,bendingforward,seizedherbytheneckandsaidsharly:
"Thenit'srightifIrobyou.I'dstarveifIdidn't.
"
Hetoreherclothesfromherbodyandkickedherroughlydownonthecorsesasshestruggledandtriedtoclutchhisleg.Fivestes,andhewasatthetoofthestairs.Theyellowclotheshehadwrestedoffwereunderhisarm,andinatwinklinghehadrusheddownthesteestairsintotheabyssofnight.Thethunderofhisdescendingstesoundedinthehollowtower,andthenitwasquiet.
Shortlyafterthatthehagraiseduherbodyfromthecorses.Grumblingandgroaning,shecrawledtothetostairbythestillflickeringtorchlight,andthroughthegrayhairwhichhungoverherface,sheeereddowntothelaststairinthetorchlight.
Beyondthiswasonlydarkness…unknowingandunknown.