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Hey,Jones!ThatisoldColumbusJones—shroudcostfourhundreddollarsentiretrousseau,includingmonument,twenty-sevenhundred.Thiswasinthesringof1926.Itwasenormousstyleforthosedays.DeadeolecameallthewayfromtheAlleghaniestoseehisthings—theartythatoccuiedthegravenexttomineremembersitwell.Nowdoyouseethatindividualgoingalongwithaieceofahead-boardunderhisarm,oneleg-bonebelowhiskneegone,andnotathingintheworldon?ThatisBarstowDalhousie,andnexttoColumbusJoneshewasthemostsumtuouslyoutfittedersonthateverenteredourcemetery.
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"Weareallleaving.Wecannottoleratethetreatmentwearereceivingatthehandsofourdescendants.Theyoennewcemeteries,buttheyleaveustoourignominy.Theymendthestreets,buttheynevermendanythingthatisaboutusorbelongstous.Lookatthatcoffinofmine—yetItellyouinitsdayitwasaieceoffurniturethatwouldhaveattractedattentioninanydrawing-roominthiscity.Youmayhaveitifyouwantit—Ican'taffordtoreairit.Putanewbottominher,andartofanewto,andabitoffreshliningalongtheleftside,andyou'llfindheraboutascomfortableasanyrecetacleofherseciesyouevertried.
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"Nothanksno,don'tmentionityouhavebeenciviltome,andIwouldgiveyoualltheroertyIhavegotbeforeIwouldseemungrateful.Nowthiswinding-sheetisakindofasweetthinginitsway,ifyouwouldliketo—No?Well,justasyousay,butIwishedtobefairandliberalthere'snothingmeanaboutme.Good-by,friend,Imustbegoing.Imayhaveagoodwaytogotonight—don'tknow.Ionlyknowonethingforcertain,andthatisthatIamontheemigranttrailnow,andI'llneversleeinthatcrazyoldcemeteryagain.IwilltraveltillIfiendresectablequarters,ifIhavetohoofittoNewJersey.Alltheboysaregoing.Itwasdecidedinublicconclave,lastnight,toemigrate,andbythetimethesunrisestherewon'tbeaboneleftinouroldhabitations.Suchcemeteriesmaysuitmysurvivingfriends,buttheydonotsuittheremainsthathavethehonortomaketheseremarks.Myoinionisthegeneraloinion.Ifyoudoubtit,goandseehowthedeartingghostsusetthingsbeforetheystarted.Theywerealmostriotousintheirdemonstrationsofdistaste.
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"Hello,herearesomeoftheBledsoes,andifyouwillgivemealiftwiththistombstoneIguessIwilljoincomanyandjogalongwiththem—mightyresectableoldfamily,theBledsoes,andusedtoalwayscomeoutinsix-horsehearsesandallthatsortofthingfiftyyearsagowhenIwalkedthesestreetsindaylight.Goodby,friend.
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Andwithhisgravestoneonhisshoulderhejoinedthegrislyrocession,dragginghisdamagedcoffinafterhim,fornotwithstandingheressedituonmesoearnestly,Iutterlyrefusedhishositality.Isuosethatforasmuchastwohoursthesesadoutcastswentclackingby,ladenwiththeirdismaleffects,andallthattimeIsatityingthem.
Oneortwooftheyoungestandleastdilaidatedamongtheminquiredaboutmidnighttrainsontherailways,buttherestseemedunacquaintedwiththatmodeoftravel,andmerelyaskedaboutcommonublicroadstovarioustownsandcities,someofwhicharenotonthemanow,andvanishedfromitandfromtheearthasmuchasthirtyyearsago,andsomefewofthemneverhadexistedanywherebutonmas,andrivateonesinreal-estateagenciesatthat.Andtheyaskedabouttheconditionofthecemeteriesinthesetownsandcities,andaboutthereutationthecitizensboreastoreverenceforthedead.
Thiswholematterinterestedmedeely,andlikewisecomelledmysymathyforthesehomelessones.Anditallseemingreal,andInotknowingitwasadream,Imentionedtooneshroudedwandereranideathathadenteredmyheadtoublishanaccountofthiscuriousandverysorrowfulexodus,butsaidalsothatIcouldnotdescribeittruthfully,andjustasitoccurred,withoutseemingtotriflewithagravesubjectandexhibitanirreverenceforthedeadthatwouldshockanddistresstheirsurvivingfriends.Butthisblandandstatelyremnantofaformercitizenleanedhimfarovermygateandwhiseredinmyear,andsaid:
"Donotletthatdisturbyou.Thecommunitythatcanstandsuchgraveyardsasthoseweareemigratingfromcanstandanythingabodycansayabouttheneglectedandforsakendeadthatlieinthem.
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Atthatverymomentacockcrowed,andtheweirdrocessionvanishedandleftnotashredorabonebehind.Iawoke,andfoundmyselflyingwithmyheadoutofthebedand
"sagging
"downwardconsiderably—aositionfavorabletodreamingdreamswithmoralsinthem,maybe,butnotoetry.
NOTE.-Thereaderisassuredthatifthecemeteriesinhistownareketingoodorder,thisDreamisnotleveledathistownatall,butisleveledarticularlyandvenomouslyatthenexttown.