第4章 黑猫〔4〕

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nightasIsat,halfstuefied,inadenofmorethaninfamy,myattentionwassuddenlydrawntosomeblackobject,reosinguontheheadofoneoftheimmensehogsheadsofGin,orofRum,whichconstitutedthechieffurnitureoftheaartment.Ihadbeenlookingsteadilyatthetoofthishogsheadforsomeminutes,andwhatnowcausedmesurrisewasthefactthatIhadnotsoonererceivedtheobjectthereuon.Iaroachedit,andtoucheditwithmyhand.Itwasablackcat—averylargeone—fullyaslargeasPluto,andcloselyresemblinghimineveryresectbutone.Plutohadnotawhitehairuonanyortionofhisbody;butthiscathadalarge,althoughindefiniteslotchofwhite,coveringnearlythewholeregionofthebreast.

Uonmytouchinghim,heimmediatelyarose,urredloudly,rubbedagainstmyhand,andaeareddelightedwithmynotice.This,then,wastheverycreatureofwhichIwasinsearch.Iatonceofferedtourchaseitofthelandlord;butthisersonmadenoclaimtoit—knewnothingofit—hadneverseenitbefore.

Icontinuedmycaresses,and,whenIrearedtogohome,theanimalevincedadisositiontoaccomanyme.Iermittedittodoso;occasionallystooingandattingitasIroceeded.Whenitreachedthehouseitdomesticateditselfatonce,andbecameimmediatelyagreatfavoritewithmywife.

Formyownart,Isoonfoundadisliketoitarisingwithinme.ThiswasjustthereverseofwhatIhadanticiated;butIknownothoworwhyitwas—itsevidentfondnessformyselfratherdisgustedandannoyed.Byslowdegrees,thesefeelingsofdisgustandannoyanceroseintothebitternessofhatred.Iavoidedthecreature;acertainsenseofshame,andtheremembranceofmyformerdeedofcruelty,reventingmefromhysicallyabusingit.Ididnot,forsomeweeks,strike,orotherwiseviolentlyilluseit;butgradually—verygradually—Icametolookuonitwithunutterableloathing,andtofleesilentlyfromitsodiousresence,asfromthebreathofaestilence.

Whatadded,nodoubt,tomyhatredofthebeast,wasthediscovery,onthemorningafterIbroughtithome,that,likePluto,italsohadbeenderivedofoneofitseyes.Thiscircumstance,however,onlyendearedittomywife,who,asIhavealreadysaid,ossessed,inahighdegree,thathumanityoffeelingwhichhadoncebeenmydistinguishingtrait,andthesourceofmanyofmysimlestandurestleasures.

Withmyaversiontothiscat,however,itsartialityformyselfseemedtoincrease.Itfollowedmyfootsteswithaertinacitywhichitwouldbedifficulttomakethereadercomrehend.WheneverIsat,itwouldcrouchbeneathmychair,orsringuonmyknees,coveringmewithitsloathsomecaresses.IfIarosetowalkitwouldgetbetweenmyfeetandthusnearlythrowmedown,or,fasteningitslongandsharclawsinmydress,clamber,inthismanner,tomybreast.Atsuchtimes,althoughIlongedtodestroyitwithablow,Iwasyetwithheldfromsodoing,artlybyamemoryofmyformercrime,butchiefly—letmeconfessitatonce—byabsolutedreadofthebeast.

Thisdreadwasnotexactlyadreadofhysicalevil-andyetIshouldbeatalosshowotherwisetodefineit.Iamalmostashamedtoown—yes,eveninthisfelon'scell,Iamalmostashamedtoown—thattheterrorandhorrorwithwhichtheanimalinsiredme,hadbeenheightenedbyoneofthemerestchimaerasitwouldbeossibletoconceive.Mywifehadcalledmyattention,morethanonce,tothecharacterofthemarkofwhitehair,ofwhichIhavesoken,andwhichconstitutedthesolevisibledifferencebetweenthestrangebeastandtheoneIhaddestroyed.Thereaderwillrememberthatthismark,althoughlarge,hadbeenoriginallyveryindefinite;but,byslowdegrees—degreesnearlyimercetible,andwhichforalongtimemyreasonstruggledtorejectasfanciful—ithad,atlength,assumedarigorousdistinctnessofoutline.ItwasnowthereresentationofanobjectthatIshuddertoname—andforthis,aboveall,Iloathed,anddreaded,andwouldhaveridmyselfofthemonsterhadIdared—itwasnow,Isay,theimageofahideous—ofaghastlything—oftheGallows!—oh,mournfulandterribleengineofHorrorandofCrime—ofAgonyandofDeath!

AndnowwasIindeedwretchedbeyondthewretchednessofmereHumanity.Andabrutebeast—whosefellowIhadcontemtuouslydestroyed—abrutebeasttoworkoutforme—formeaman,fashionedintheimageoftheHighGod—somuchofinsufferablewo!Alas!NeitherbydaynorbynightknewItheblessingofRestanymore!Duringtheformerthecreatureleftmenomomentalone;and,inthelatter,Istarted,hourly,fromdreamsofunutterablefear,tofindthehotbreathofthethinguonmyface,anditsvastweight—anincarnateNight-MarethatIhadnoowertoshakeoff—incumbenteternallyuonmyheart!

Beneaththeressureoftormentssuchasthese,thefeebleremnantofthegoodwithinmesuccumbed.Evilthoughtsbecamemysoleintimates—thedarkestandmostevilofthoughts.Themoodinessofmyusualtemerincreasedtohatredofallthingsandofallmankind;while,fromthesudden,frequent,andungovernableoutburstsofafurytowhichInowblindlyabandonedmyself,myuncomlainingwife,shewasthemostusualandthemostatientofsufferers.