第28章 罗生门〔3〕

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hehaircameout,fearfadedfromhisheart,andhishatredtowardtheoldwomanmounted.Itgrewbeyondhatred,becomingaconsumingantiathyagainstallevil.Atthisinstantifanyonehadbroughtuthethequestionofwhetherhewouldstarvetodeathorbecomeathief—thequestionwhichhadoccurredtohimalittlewhileago—hewouldnothavehesitatedtochoosedeath.Hishatredtowardevilflareduliketheieceofinewoodwhichtheoldwomanhadstuckinthefloor.

Hedidnotknowwhysheulledoutthehairofthedead.Accordingly,hedidnotknowwhetherhercasewastobeutdownasgoodorbad.Butinhiseyes,ullingoutthehairofthedeadintheRashomononthisstormynightwasanunardonablecrime.Ofcourseitneverenteredhismindthatalittlewhileagohehadthoughtofbecomingathief.

Then,summoningstrengthintohislegs,herosefromthestairsandstrode,handonsword,rightinfrontoftheoldcreature.Thehagturned,terrorinhereyes,andsrangufromthefloor,trembling.Forasmallmomentsheaused,oisedthere,thenlungedforthestairswithashriek.

"Wretch!Whereareyougoing?

"heshouted,barringthewayofthetremblinghagwhotriedtoscurryasthim.Stillsheattemtedtoclawherwayby.Heushedherbacktoreventher…theystruggled,fellamongthecorses,andgraledthere.Theissuewasneverindoubt.Inamomenthehadherbythearm,twistedit,andforcedherdowntothefloor.Herarmswereallskinandbones,andtherewasnomorefleshonthemthanontheshanksofachicken.Nosoonerwassheonthefloorthanhedrewhisswordandthrustthesilver-whitebladebeforeherverynose.Shewassilent.Shetrembledasifinafit,andhereyeswereoensowidethattheywerealmostoutoftheirsockets,andherbreathcomeinhoarsegass.Thelifeofthiswretchwashisnow.Thisthoughtcooledhisboilingangerandbroughtacalmrideandsatisfaction.Helookeddownather,andsaidinasomewhatcalmervoice:

"Lookhere,I'mnotanofficeroftheHighPoliceCommissioner.I'mastrangerwhohaenedtoassbythisgate.Iwon'tbindyouordoanythingagainstyou,butyoumusttellmewhatyou'redoinguhere.

"

Thentheoldwomanoenedhereyesstillwider,andgazedathisfaceintentlywiththesharredeyesofabirdofrey.Shemovedherlis,whichwerewrinkledintohernose,asthoughshewerechewingsomething.Thenaantingsoundlikethecawingofacrowcamefromherthroat:

"Iullthehair…Iulloutthehair…tomakeawig.

"

Heranswerbanishedallunknownfromtheirencounterandbroughtdisaointment.Suddenlyshewasonlyatremblingoldwomanthereathisfeet.Aghoulnolonger:onlyahagwhomakeswigsfromthehairofthedead—tosell,forscrasoffood.Acoldcontemtseizedhim.Fearlefthisheart,andhisformerhatredentered.Thesefeelingsmusthavebeensensedbytheother.Theoldcreature,stillclutchingthehairshehadulledoffthecorse,mumbledoutthesewordsinherharshbrokenvoice:

"Indeed,makingwigsoutofthehairofthedeadmayseemagreateviltoyou,butthesethatareheredeservenobetter.Thiswoman,whosebeautifulblackhairIwasulling,usedtosellcutanddriedsnakefleshattheguardbarracks,sayingthatitwasdriedfish.Ifshehadn'tdiedofthelague,she'dbesellingitnow.Theguardslikedtobuyfromher,andusedtosayherfishwastasty.Whatshedidcouldn'tbewrong,becauseifshehadn't,shewouldhavestarvedtodeath.Therewasnootherchoice.IfsheknewIhadtodothisinordertolive,sherobablywouldn'tcare.

"

Hesheathedhissword,and,withhislefthandonitshilt,helistenedtohermeditatively.Hisrighthandtouchedthebigimleonhischeek.Ashelistened,acertaincouragewasborninhisheart—thecouragewhichhehadnotwhenhesatunderthegatealittlewhileago.Astrangeowerwasdrivinghimintheoositedirectionofthecouragewhichhehadhadwhenheseizedtheoldwoman.Nolongerdidhewonderwhetherheshouldstarvetodeathorbecomeathief.Starvationwassofarfromhismindthatitwasthelastthingthatwouldhaveenteredit.

"Areyousure?

"heaskedinamockingtone,whenshefinishedtalking.Hetookhisrighthandfromhisimle,and,bendingforward,seizedherbytheneckandsaidsharly:

"Thenit'srightifIrobyou.I'dstarveifIdidn't.

"

Hetoreherclothesfromherbodyandkickedherroughlydownonthecorsesasshestruggledandtriedtoclutchhisleg.Fivestes,andhewasatthetoofthestairs.Theyellowclotheshehadwrestedoffwereunderhisarm,andinatwinklinghehadrusheddownthesteestairsintotheabyssofnight.Thethunderofhisdescendingstesoundedinthehollowtower,andthenitwasquiet.

Shortlyafterthatthehagraiseduherbodyfromthecorses.Grumblingandgroaning,shecrawledtothetostairbythestillflickeringtorchlight,andthroughthegrayhairwhichhungoverherface,sheeereddowntothelaststairinthetorchlight.

Beyondthiswasonlydarkness…unknowingandunknown.